My hair is growing back! This is making me SO happy!  It is growing back a little darker than I wanted and in patches, but it is growing!  It feels very fuzzy now, and I can’t stop running my hands over my scalp and reciting ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear’.

I started Radiation Therapy mid December and I’m not liking it one bit.  It doesn’t hurt or anything, and I just have to lie still for about 15 minutes but there is something about it that I just really dislike, more than Chemo actually.  I think it is because I over think what it is doing to my body, and I’ve read so much about its effects.  I’ll be happy to have it over with.  Today I had the biggest urge to sit up and runaway during it.  I’m not stupid enough to do this but I did think about it.

Talking about thoughts, I wanted to write a little about sadness.  I’m not going to call it depression because I feel that people can be sad and lonely without being depressed.  I guess it really boils down to how people cope and the strategies they have to help them through stressful times.  One of the strategies that I know has helped me is write down what I want to achieve or where I want to be in a few years.  I think this, focus on it, and dream away.  We perceive things differently, situations and circumstances.  I could see my cancer as negative or I could see it as a positive.  I CHOOSE to see it as a positive.  It has brought my family and friends closer together and has given me the insight into others who are going through difficult times.  I believe it is how we view things and this is one thing that we have power over.

I just watched this episode of ‘Canada’s Worst Driver’ and they gave the perfect example.  The drivers were navigating a course at high speeds and kept spinning out.  They needed to look on where they wanted to go; the best drivers look at the apex of the turn and visualized their successful navigation through the corners and the worst focus on obstacles they don’t want to hit.  And guess where each one ended up? The better ones completed the task and the worst ones hit the obstacles they focused on, whether it was a wall, a curb or a cardboard person.  You always obtain what you focus on, if that happens to be a negative thing than that’s where unfortunately you end up.   And remember, when you start sliding this winter don’t panic and focus on the ditch in front of you but rather the empty space where you want to end up safely.  It’s good to become self-aware of what we focus on, so that we can end up where we truly want to be.