I had a good cry today. I think that it’s important for everybody, both male and female, to have a good, old fashioned wailing session. I had an appointment with my Oncologist, well actually not my original one since she was away but another one that I’ve seen a few times in the past. While she was doing a breast exam, she commented on my scar tissue, or should I say the lump within it. She asked if it always felt like that, and I responded that I think so. She asked when my last mammogram was and I told her June when I had surgery. She said that everything is likely alright but I should have one just to be certain. I know I have nothing to worry about (most likely) the tissue does feel bumpy and hard but it has felt like this before and radiation has make it worse. I know I shouldn’t be scared…but I am. I am prone to worry, which totally sucks and is something I need to work on. This is just another reminder to me how important life is. My sister said to not get to ahead of myself, to take one day at a time. G also reminded me to stay focused on living and remember that I am under the microscope. The doctors have to do this. I understand, I just wish I didn’t have to think about cancer so much.
Hi Beautiful You are doing amazing and shit who wouldn’t worry after all you have gone through. Focus on all your upcoming joy …your wedding
choosing the most beautiful gown and all your wonderful plans.
An oncologist will be hyper vigilant that’s their job….its so easy to be overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, but don’t stay there too long Mary (If you need to give yourself an hour or so time it and then move on) focus on all the amazing things you are doing and accomplished……..You are an inspiration to me…….and to many that follow you.
I can completely understand why you would worry, even more than the rest of us because you’ve seen first-hand and up close what it means to find a lump. I think it would be unnatural for you not to worry. It must be hard to take things one day at a time, but of course this is the best thing for you to do. Let yourself cry and wail and shout and anything else you need to do, but also let yourself feel the strength you have inside. You are an incredible person and the doctors are going to watch you sooo closely and will take every precaution they need to.
xoxo
Thank you so much you two! I was really upset yesterday, most likely overreacted and in a much better mood today! I would never be so strong without the support of such loving, beautiful woman such as yourselves! You both are amazing, and I’m so fortunate! Loves and Hugs 🙂